Social Media

Networking tool and necessary evil.

An audio version of this post is available below (for paid subscribers).

There’s something that’s taken over our lives, something that many people can’t live without. It’s addicting, useful, confusing, and it’s the thing you’re consuming, right now. I wrote some words and posted some pictures, in an attempt to steal five to ten minutes of your time, and focus on an issue that could be affecting someone you know. There’s a science to social media, whether you’re looking to make a quick and easy buck, or trying to rescue a friend that desperately needs your help.

“The great thing about social media was how it gave a voice to voiceless people.” Jon Ronson

As with many things, social media can be a double edged sword. When you’re battling a crisis, marching with an army of friends can significantly lighten the load, and networking is a great way to build one. But there are a lot of pitfalls on the path to forming a community online. It’s important to remember your goals, and stick to them. Here are a few types of social media solutions to a horrible thing, and precautions you should take in using them.

Groups

Prominent mostly on Facebook, groups are filled with like-minded people that have rallied together to support a person, or family, who is dealing with or recovering from a difficult challenge, most often medically related. Their posts can swing between positive aspiration and terrifying diagnosis in one scroll. They’re hopeful and heartbreaking. Groups often require answering questions to prove that you belong on that particular page, to cut back on spammers and spectators.

Families will occasionally provide links to registries for gift giving, or crowdfunding efforts for medical expenses, and that’s when you should make sure you’re following the right account. If you hear of a particular case, pay attention to their subscriber count and when they started. Guarantee that any financial help you provide is going where you want it to go.

While groups can be monitored by extended family and friends, don’t create one without the consent of those directly involved. Check with them before you start talking about their situation online. Even if they have a group set up somewhere, and share private details, limit your engagement on other platforms unless your friend gives you the go-ahead. Let them control the message and choose what’s appropriate to share with who.

X, BlueSky, Threads, Instagram, Tik Tok, etc.

The same precautions apply to these sites as well, and really any messaging apps you use to connect with your friends. One flammable post can spread like wildfire and possibly start a panic, or spread misinformation. Think before you post. Relay your friend’s message, and not your own. Pause and reflect: am I sharing this to help or is this performative in some way? If it’s the latter, then maybe this “share” isn’t for you.

Also exercise caution in allowing your online friend group, those you turn to when you need to express your frustration and ask important questions, to become predominately strangers. Social media can create a satisfying loop of posting personal stories and receiving immediate likes. But it can also create a dependency on a group that might not always be there when you need them, or understand you, like a face-to-face friend can. Online advocates can be a vital resource, but still put effort into making sure they’re just one part of your friend’s support system.

The much healthier use of social media in an emergency is memes. Aim right for their funny bone and make your friend laugh, because you know what they think is funny. When they have a moment to relax, give them a short runtime of nonsensical entertainment you painstakingly collected while you were sitting in bed.

Crowdfunding

Horrible things usually cost a horrible amount of money, and for many the only way they’ve stayed afloat is through the generosity of others. But wherever there’s an opportunity for profit, you’ll find people that are willing to abuse the system. Take caution in trusting those you’ve only met online. Make sure you connect with a closer friend or family member to confirm you have the right information, and don’t create a fundraiser yourself unless they told you to. If you’ve given what you can and want to help further, ask how far and wide they want their story to go, and if you can help spread the word.

“The dark side of social media is that, within seconds, anything can be blown out of proportion and taken out of context. And it’s very difficult not to get swept up in it all.” Nicola Formichetti

Some online support groups have hundreds of thousands of followers. That kind of celebrity is a strange thing to manage. Even with my moderate social following on various platforms, I worry about my son’s life being broadcast to people he hasn’t met, in a way he couldn’t fully understand yet. When a friend is in an emergency, it can feel like a positive impulse to immediately log on and chat about it. But if you’re not the one at the center of a friend’s world that’s falling apart, that’s not your call to make.

To sum up: before you take a plea to the social media networks, vet it with your friend first. Don’t trust every post you see with an ask as true. And only share to help, not to exploit.

Oh, and remember to Like and Subscribe. *wink wink*

Let’s talk it out.

Do you follow any accounts online that are dealing with a horrible thing? Let me know in the comments.

An audio version of this post is available below (for paid subscribers).